i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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