i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
