I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
