If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
