david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
