i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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