Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
