hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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