my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
