Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
