i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
