D3 body, D1 cock
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize