I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
