oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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