8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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