my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize
