i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is the high leading the old right now
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
