everyone is single if you try hard enough
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
