I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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