If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
