actually, I'm a sock model
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
