Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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