What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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