there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize