Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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