you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
