I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
