i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize