your thong is hanging out like whoa
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
