i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
