he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
