A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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