I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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