Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
