i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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