There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
