party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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