My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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