eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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