You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
