Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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