a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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