When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
