His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
