Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
