I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
