those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
