I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
