You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You ruined the universe
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
