I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
