i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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