It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
