Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
