Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
