I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
