Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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