Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
