So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
