You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
