would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize