Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
