Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize